Another day amongst the daffodils

What a difference a year makes. With my daffodils in full bloom again, this year I’ve had to force myself to stop, sit and listen; to listen to the inner voice that says, “Hey, stop rushing around so much and drink in the beauty of the scene before you”. Listen to the magpies warbling in the early morning, listen to the creek babbling by and marvel at the magnificent display of daffodils this year, brought on by a very cold winter. I am grateful that my health and stamina have returned to a level where I am able to rush about and resume the busyness of life, but as the daffodils nod in the sun, it will always be a reminder of the weeks spent sitting on my front verandah and how important it still is to just ‘be’.

Things I have learnt today

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Chemo week and my fourth day of sitting on the verandah in the late winter sun watching the daffodils in full bloom.  I can also see them from lying in my bed and the sofa in our loungeroom.  It is the strangest and most surreal feeling not being able to do anything except co-exist and ‘be’ with the flowers and the trees of my garden. I don’t have much nausea or pain, but am so weak and heavy-feeling that I can barely breathe. My head feels full of cotton-wool and spins and is so slow; words and trains of thought have gone missing and I stop mid-sentence forgetting what I was saying or where I was going with an attempted conversation. Is this what it is like to get dementia? It is horrible. I can’t concentrate enough to read anything of substantial length such that I actually remember what I…

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About stemgir1

Scientist, mother, survivor of childhood cancer, diagnosed in 2013 with breast cancer. Lover of life.
This entry was posted in Australia, breast cancer, cancer, chemo-brain, chemo-fog, chemotherapy, community, Daffodil Day, Faith, flowers, friends, Garden, gratitude, healing, hope, inspiration, mindfulness, respite, rest, spring, stillness and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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